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  • Writer's pictureColleen

The performance review

Let's be honest: just because I'm a mom doesn't mean I have any idea what I'm doing. It's probably one of the only jobs in the world where it's perfectly acceptable to just learn as you go. To make shit up, hope for the best and use trial and error as your compass. But sometimes I feel like my kids are on to me. They realize I know very little about most things and it's as if they pose certain questions just to keep me on my toes. Like some sort of surprise performance review. Which is bullshit because my salary (zero dollars) is not nearly enough to deal with surprise attack questions.

A few weeks ago, Belle started pondering a pretty heavy topic (the creation of mankind) and I feel like I nailed it:

(*note: "borned" is Belle-speak for "gave birth to")

B: Mommy, Gigi borned you, right?

Me: yes, that's right. And do you remember who borned Daddy?

B: SueSue did!

Me: that's right.

B: but who borned the first one?

Me: the first what? The first human in the whole world?

B: ya, who borned them?

Me: ummm, that's a great question. The first people were Adam and Eve and God created them.

B: but who borned them?

Me: no one did. God created them. It was a miracle...which means it was kind of like magic.

B: Ohhhhhh! Like Elsa!

Me: Yes. Exactly.

B: let's do stickers.

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